i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
