Your face is a jimmy john
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
