There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
