And the cops told us we were all naked.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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