Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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