He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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