yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
