my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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