Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
