Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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