I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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