But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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