Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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