i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
