ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
