3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
barbara walters just said penis...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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