I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
