so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize