Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
do nipples grow back?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
