3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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