Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize