Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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