Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
