i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
