so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
