I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
