never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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