he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
