I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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