And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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