K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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