overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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