living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
