It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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