YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize