What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
