I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
