is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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