it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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