My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
