lets start a swedish sibling band together
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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