in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
