How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
