Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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