Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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