new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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