I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
