actually, I'm a sock model
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize