it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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