its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
