break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
