hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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