I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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