I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
