Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
