I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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