he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
