ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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