i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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