im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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