Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
