I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
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