It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
