dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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